thisisanime:

My days and nights are reversed these days. I go to sleep as the sky turns grey and wake when the sun crawls below the crowded rooftops. The passage of time has no meaning anymore. Even the seasons do not change.

I forget the last time I heard the sound of human voices. Flesh and blood humans, I mean. I have plenty to keep me company thanks to the laptop I purchased back when I still had the courage to walk farther than the convenience store down the street. The strangers I meet online are far realer than the people passing by outside, so absorbed in their own lives.

The only annoyance is the steady electrical hum of the telephone wires outside my window. I have tried everything to block it out but nothing has worked. I even ate only one small meal every a day for a month so I could purchase the most expensive noise canceling headphones I could find, which caused me to be even more tired and dizzy than usual. But no matter how loud I play my music it makes no difference.

Lately, it has not left me alone even in my sleep. Whenever anyone tries to talk in my dreams, the only thing that comes out of their mouth is that accursed droning buzz. I think it is getting louder, too. 

I may be going mad. It has occurred to me that there may be only one way to escape that noise forever, but I have not yet decided on such drastic measures. I don’t mean to leave my apartment, of course. That would be unthinkable.

- Confessions of a hikikomori